The first thing anyone asks a coach is, “How are things with your team?” When someone meets me and finds out that I am a coach, he usually asks, “Is your team good?” When I walk down the street after a game, people stop me to say, “Great win coach!” I always have a quick response, sharing all of the positive things that are going on in our program and painting our team in the best light.

I have struggled with not letting my team’s performance define me. I have battled against weighing my worth and status by my sport, or judging my success through the eyes of the fans who watch us. Thankfully, God doesn’t see me in that way at all. I often get a chance to respond to the question, “Did you win?’ when I walk on to planes with my team after games. I try to respond to them politely and then to myself say, “I won when I became a child of God.” On the average, Division I college basketball players spend 3,000 hours in their sport over 4 years, and only 4 percent of those hours are spent in games. I am not going to let that 4 percent of my time make me feel better or worse about myself. God has already said that I am one of His children. We need to remember that He is the audience who really matters.

Find something to define your identity in the midst of competition. For instance, I put a special coin in my pocket. This helps to remind me in the midst of competition why I coach, and for whom.