Much like Paul, I also felt at times that I was the worst of sinners. I wondered how God could forgive me, how He could use me. I didn’t measure up. As a young football coach, I modeled myself after several older, rough and rugged, salty coaches who were known to be profane to the extreme and who had a “take no prisoners” attitude. It had worked for them; maybe it would work for me. Using these questionable techniques, I, too, became successful—as in wins and losses. I gained the respect of my peers and won trophies and accolades, but for what? There was still a major hole that needed to be filled—a Jesus hole.

I rededicated my life to Christ after drifting away for years. I seemed to be getting back on track. But something still wasn’t right. I had not invited Christ into one of the most important parts of my life—my career, my purpose. I was afraid of the unknown, afraid of being labeled a hypocrite. I had sinned way too often and in front of too many people for me to proclaim my faith now. I thought I would work on this Christian thing for a while, and then Christ would be able to use me. Not today—maybe tomorrow.